These were some late night musings on 12/29.
From very late on 12/29. I wrote down these thoughts.
This morning I woke up to a frozen lake and the kids happily breaking ice and watching the pieces skate across the surface. I finished a book that I was recommended for the kids but they never got into. I think it will be a better fit for Evelyn when she's older. It's called, "Ways to Make Sunshine" about a little girl that lives in Portland. It was a cute book and she discovered ways to make touch situations better. In her young age, she was learning about changing her perspective. I really had that hygge feeling where I just wanted to curl up and read for hours. I also, pulled the mom card though and cleaned the pantry and my room. There's that internal messaging that wants to relax all day and yet also take advantage of the time to get projects done. Also, I love Christmas and the lights and the nativities but after Christmas there just seems to be stuff left around and little by little, I want to simplify again.
After finishing that, I started reading a book called, "A Boy Called Christmas." I really liked it so I looked up books by the author and started listening to another of his books titled, "Reasons to Live". It was quite a difference from the light hearted fantasy world of Christmas. Depression can affect us. Thoughts affect our mood. I am so sleepy but my mind is awake. Outside our window I can see the night sky over the lake. It's beautiful. I love this home so much and yet sometimes I vacillate between contentment because I love it (the ducks, geese, blue herons, the occasional eagle), embarrassment about our good fortune because I wish everyone could have this beautiful view in their backyard and then comparison thoughts because we live on this little lake but so many people have bigger houses on the huge, blue Lake Tapps. My mind!
Added note while I'm typing this up on 12/31. Mindfulness is so essential. Seeking peace in Christ is so essential. Recognizing the gifts that come with my overthinking mind and knowing that it's human to have thoughts like this is essential.
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