Last night I had the most horrific dream to memory and I'm blogging about it because it was a dream that makes you appreciate your blessings. In this dream, I only had Max and I had to give him away to save his life. I was on this ship with other people and he was already not "mine" anymore even though I could still kind of be with him. I just remember experiencing a very real (in my dream) physical pain that felt like I was being crushed in some kind of vice. It was even more intense than childbirth. I've never felt like that. When I woke up, I was kind of in this daze because it had seemed so real and the physical pain of losing my baby boy had seemed so real. I am so appreciative of my family that I can't even say. I had a very small glimpse of how difficult it was for Heavenly Father to allow His Only Begotten Son to suffer and die to atone for mankind for which I will always be eternally grateful. I also had a small glimpse of the selflessness of birth mothers who place their children for adoption when their circumstances are such that adoption would give their children a better life.
